5 Things You Should NEVER Say To An Asthma Mom

1. "DON'T WORRY! ASTHMA'S NOT THAT BAD! YOUR KIDS WILL OUTGROW IT!"

The reality is that studies show most children do not "outgrow" true asthma. Especially if it is severe and they are allergic to furry pets. There are times that symptoms improve due to hormonal changes like during adolescence but symptoms often return later in adulthood. Asthma is serious and it can kill. Got it? 

2. "YOUR KIDS ARE ALWAYS SICK!"

Really? Thank you for pointing that out! Asthma is worse at night, leaving both the parent and the child absolutely exhausted. Thank goodness for eye cream! The frequent trips to the doctor's office, missed days of school, and missed days of work make the entire family feel out of sorts and lonely. Not to mention all the side effects of the medicines used to treat asthma attacks. These medicines leave our children feeling sensitive and cause them to eat us out of house and home. So let's add walking through the grocery store like a zombie to the list! 

3. "HAVE YOU TRIED..."

Although people's intentions are good and they mean well, this one really strikes the proverbial nerve! It automatically puts us on the defensive. I have 17 years of experience in raising 3 kids with asthma. Their doctors have educated me on what triggers their asthma and what works in rescuing them during an attack, so please don't tell us about all of the alternative, natural fads you're selling that will miraculously cure our kids' asthma! We're not buying it!

4. "YOU'RE TOO OVERPROTECTIVE"

Every time one of my children has an asthma attack, it's like watching them struggle in the deep end of a swimming pool. Aren't all parents overprotective of their children around swimming pools? I'm sorry if you interpret us advocating for our children as "overprotective," but sending your child to school when they are sick can put asthmatic children in the hospital. When your tween sprays hairspray, aerosol deodorant, or vapes, our kids can't breathe so respect the non aerosol policies and teach your child that we all share the air and must be mindful of how our actions affect others. Even pleasant smelling perfumes, lotions, candles, and air fresheners can cause an asthma attack, so hold the fragrance please...You are sweet enough. 

5. "I FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOU."

Asthma moms are tough. We have to be. We don't want your sympathy. What we need is you to learn how to keep our child's environment safe and free of asthma triggers. This is particularly true in school, team sports, and camps. The truth is, our kids can do all that your kids can do when their asthma is under good control, so just help us keep it that way! We are constantly educating teachers, coaches, and parents on our kids' asthma action plans. For example, my son's baseball team knows they can't spray bug sprays or sunscreens in the dugout. So instead of offering your sympathy, offer your ear and learn how to help a child with asthma stay in the game!

So now that you know the facts, please remember that if it isn't kind, necessary or true, keep it to you! This asthma mom will thank you:)

Laura Kellogg, RN, AE-C

Mother of 3 asthmatics
 I have asthma too